he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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