I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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