remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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