Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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