It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just found a bag of teeth...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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