Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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