so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
