You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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