Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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