Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
