Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
