If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
