just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
