You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
