when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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