Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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