I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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