so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's official drugs can't kill me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
