one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
