ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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