Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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