Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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