sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Randomize
