I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
