Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
