four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
