Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize