A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
