yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize