I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
