By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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