Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
