um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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