Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
