It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
