I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
