and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
