Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
North Korea, Best Korea!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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