I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
