Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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