Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
