and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
