i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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