Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
