whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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