At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
