your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
