i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
