Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I haven't been this sober since birth.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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