What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
