i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
