If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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