Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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