Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
