thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
