Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
