Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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