hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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