How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
