we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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