just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
