i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
