Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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