No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize