Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
