i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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