too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
