my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
