waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
